A Lot Of People Ask Me Stupid Fuckin Questions
A Lot Of People Think That What I Say On Records 
Or What I Talk About On A Record That I Actually Do In Real Life 
Or That I Believe In It 
Or If I Say That I Wanna Kill Somebody That 
I'm Actually Gonna Do It 
Or That I Believe In It 
Well Shit If You Believe That 
Then I'll Kill You
You Know Why 
Cuz I'm A
 Criminal
Criminal
You God Damn Right
I'm A Criminal
Yeah I'm A Criminal
 Eminem
My Words Are Like A Dagger With A Jagged Edge 
That'll Stab You In The Head 
Whether You're A Fag Or Lez 
Or The Homosex Hermaph Or A Trans A Vest 
Pants Or Dress Hate Fags The Answer's Yes 
Homophobic Nah You're Just Heterophobic 
Starin At My Jeans Watchin My Genitals Bulgin Ooh 
That's My Motherfuckin Balls You'd Better Let Go Of Em 
They Belong In My Scrotum You'll Never Get Hold Of Em 
Hey It's Me Versace 
Whoops Somebody Shot Me 
And I Was Just Checkin The Mail 
Get It Checkin The 'male' 
How Many Records You Expectin To Sell 
After Your Second Lp Sends You Directly To Jail 
C'mon Relax Guy I Like Gay Men 
Right Ken Give Me An Amen Aaa Men 
Please Lord This Boy Needs Jesus 
Heal This Child Help Us Destroy These Demons 
Oh And Please Send Me A Brand New Car 
And A Prostitute While My Wife's Sick In The Hospital 
Preacher Preacher Fifth Grade Teacher 
You Can't Reach Me My Mom Can't Neither 
You Can't Teach Me A Goddamn Thing Cause 
I Watch Tv And Comcast Cable 
And You Ain't Able To Stop These Thoughts 
You Can't Stop Me From Toppin These Charts 
And You Can't Stop Me From Droppin Each March 
With A Brand New Cd For These Fuckin Retards 
Duhhh And To Think It's Just Little Ol' Me 
Mr Don't Give A Fuck Still Won't Leave
 Chorus Eminem Repeat 2x 
 I'm A Criminal 
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime 
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal 
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird 
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
 I'm A Criminal 
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime 
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal 
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird 
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
Eminem 
My Mother Did Drugs Tar Liquor Cigarettes And Speed 
The Baby Came Out Disfigured Ligaments Indeed 
It Was A Seed Who Would Grow Up Just As Crazy As She 
Don't Dare Make Fun Of That Baby Cause That Baby Was Me 
I'm A Criminal An Animal Caged Who Turned Crazed 
But How The Fuck You Sposed To Grow Up When You Weren't Raised 
So As I Got Older And I Got A Lot Taller 
My Dick Shrunk Smaller But My Balls Got Larger 
I Drink Malt Liquor To Fuck You Up Quicker 
Than You'd Wanna Fuck Me Up For Sayin The Word 
My Morals Went Thhbbpp When The President Got Oral 
Sex In His Oval Office On Top Of His Desk 
Off Of His Own Employee 
Now Don't Ignore Me You Won't Avoid Me 
You Can't Miss Me I'm White Blonde Haired 
And My Nose Is Pointy 
I'm The Bad Guy Who Makes Fun Of People That Die 
In Plane Crashes And Laughs 
As Long As It Ain't Happened To Him 
Slim Shady I'm As Crazy As Em 
Inem And Kim Combined Kch The Maniac's In 
Replacin The Doctor Cause Dre Couldn't Make It Today 
He's A Little Under The Weather So I'm Takin His Place 
Mm Mm Mmm Oh That's Dre With An Ak To His Face 
Don't Make Me Kill Him Too And Spray His Brains All Over The Place 
I Told You Dre You Should've Kept That Thang Put Away 
I Guess That'll Teach You Not To Let Me Play With It Eh 
I'm A Criminal
Interlude Skit 
Aight Look Uh Huh Just Go Up In That Motherfucker 
Get The Motherfuckin Money And Get The Fuck Up Outta There 
/Em Aight /I'll Be Right Here Waitin On You 
Em Aight 
Yo Em 
Em What 
Don't Kill Nobody This Time 
Em Awwright God Damn Fuck 
Whistling How You Doin' 
Teller Hi How Can I Help You 
Eminem Yeah I Need To Make A Withdrawl 
Teller Okay 
Eminem Put The Fuckin Money In The Bag Bitch 
And I Won't Kill You 
Teller What Oh My God Don't Kill Me 
Eminem I'm Not Gonna Kill You Bitch Quit Lookin Around 
Teller Don't Kill Me Please Don't Kill Me 
Eminem I Said I'm Not Gonna Fuckin Kill You 
Hurry The Fuck Up Boom Thank You 
 Eminem 
Windows Tinted On My Ride When I Drive In It 
So When I Rob A Bank Run Out And Just Dive In It 
So I'll Be Disguised In It 
And If Anybody Identifies The Guy In It 
I'll Hide For Five Minutes 
Come Back Shoot The Eyewitness 
Fire At The Private Eye Hired To Pry In My Business 
Die Bitches Bastards Brats Pets 
This Puppy's Lucky I Didn't Blast His Ass Yet 
If I Ever Gave A Fuck I'd Shave My Nuts 
Tuck My Dick Inbetween My Legs And Cluck 
You Motherfuckin Chickens Ain't Brave Enough 
To Say The Stuff I Say So This Tape Is Shut 
Shit Half The Shit I Say I Just Make It Up 
To Make You Mad So Kiss My White Naked Ass 
And If It's Not A Rapper That I Make It As 
Bi'ma Be A Fuckin Rapist In A Jason Mask
Chorus 2x
 I'm A Criminal 
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime 
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal 
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird 
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
 I'm A Criminal 
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime 
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal 
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird 
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
 I'm A Criminal 
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime 
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal 
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird 
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
I'm A Criminal 
Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime 
To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal 
But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird 
And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One
I'm A Criminal